I CREATED, CO-FOUNDED, and EDIT EVER FRICCING HEARD OF IT???

I've performed ALL THE FRIC OVER NYC- UCB, Carolines, The MAGNET. I co-AUTHORED A FRICCING BOOK, "HOW TO WIN AT FEMINISM" and I friccing co-created two AWESOME podcasts- "Mouth Time" and "The Reductress Minute." I FRICCING RULE!

My work has been featured on THE ONION, MCSWEENEY'S, THE NEW FRICCING YORKER, HUFFPO- what else do you WANT from me!?!?!?

ONE TIME I GOT A FREE HONDA FOR LIKE THREE YEARS CUZ THIS FRICKING HAPPENED:

.@Honda, earlier today I gave birth to my daughter in the back of a Honda Fit. It is a mess. Can I have a free car? pic.twitter.com/Iicf8NaS8R

— Beth Newell (@bethnew) May 1, 2016