My dick is so big, its mass creates a gravitational pull separate from that of the Earth, making all the bitches come to me like whoa.
My dick is so big that Theodore Roosevelt needed to create a canal through it in order to help expedite maritime trade.
My dick is so big that in order to travel from one end of it to the other, bitches need to be all put into cryogenic suspended animation so as to not age so much that they become unattractive to me.
My dick is so long that Ariadne gave it to Theseus so he could find his way out of the minotaur's labyrinth.
My dick is so big; Terry Gilliam failed to finish directing it.
My dick is so big; it won't allow an editor to change its manuscripts.
My dick is so complex; many Christians have used it as evidence of Intelligent Design.
My dick is so big; Thomas Jefferson wisely purchased it from the French.
My dick is so big; it takes a bank of computers an hour to render each frame of its animation.
My dick got so big, the CIA had it assassinated.
My dick is so big that literary critics call it Tolstoy's greatest work.
My dick is so big; Judith Butler reassigned her theory on performative gender roles in order to get with it.
My dick is so big; you need at least a terabyte of hard drive space to install it.
My dick is so big, economists wonder about its repercussions on national trade.
My dick is so big that players under level 30 are advised against raiding my pants. Except if you have frost damage.
My dick is the Tammany Hall of genitals.